|
Reflection: Field Study Findings,
November 2025 - April 2026 |
I. The Introvert
I've always been introverted.
Why?
Well, I grew up lower middle class, so there was a bit of an inferiority complex there.
I'm Scandinavian. In Scandinavia there's this thing, "Janteloven" or "The Law of Jante" which says, don't suppose you're better than anyone else. The culture frowns on self promotion. "We" is more important than "Me." It's collectivist, communal.
Which is a good thing. I like it. But it's part of who I am.
My favorite Scandinavian joke: How can you tell the difference between a Norwegian and a Swede? (I am both.)
The Norwegian looks down at his own shoes. The Swede looks down at the other fellow's shoes.
My religion (Orthodox Christianity) emphasizes humility, big time.
I spent my formative years wearing uniforms, from the Cub Scouts to the Marine Corps to the Army, where we derived our significance more from our belonging than from our individuality, notwithstanding all the individual badges, ribbons, and medals. The main thing was the uniform itself, which overshadowed individuality.
Earning the Personal Management merit badge in the Boy Scouts was the catalyst for my Economics practice, Making End$ Meet. They had us track our expenses for a few weeks to earn the badge. I was hooked. This makes sense, it's a life skill, it's important, I thought to myself.
Why?
Well, I grew up lower middle class, so there was a bit of an inferiority complex there.
I'm Scandinavian. In Scandinavia there's this thing, "Janteloven" or "The Law of Jante" which says, don't suppose you're better than anyone else. The culture frowns on self promotion. "We" is more important than "Me." It's collectivist, communal.
Which is a good thing. I like it. But it's part of who I am.
My favorite Scandinavian joke: How can you tell the difference between a Norwegian and a Swede? (I am both.)
The Norwegian looks down at his own shoes. The Swede looks down at the other fellow's shoes.
My religion (Orthodox Christianity) emphasizes humility, big time.
I spent my formative years wearing uniforms, from the Cub Scouts to the Marine Corps to the Army, where we derived our significance more from our belonging than from our individuality, notwithstanding all the individual badges, ribbons, and medals. The main thing was the uniform itself, which overshadowed individuality.
Earning the Personal Management merit badge in the Boy Scouts was the catalyst for my Economics practice, Making End$ Meet. They had us track our expenses for a few weeks to earn the badge. I was hooked. This makes sense, it's a life skill, it's important, I thought to myself.
II. The Three Cs: COVID, Cancer, Caregiving
From 2020 to 2024, I became a shut-in. COVID isolated us all.
In July of 2020 I was struck by stage 4 colon cancer, so I underwent a year and a half ordeal of surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy.
By November of 2021, the wound had closed completely and they pronounced me cured. I prayed a lot, and so did a lot of other people, including my medical team.
A miracle? You decide.
How did I survive and pay my bills during that time? I had a few loyal, supportive clients who let me continue working for them while I was laid up. I'll always be grateful to them.
As I was recovering from the cancer ordeal, gradually regaining my energy and adjusting to the fact that I had not died and that I did indeed have a future, my dad declined and passed away in November of 2023. I was his caregiver.
After his passing, I took possession and assumed command of the family home, a significant adjustment that involved both moving and catching up on a lot of deferred maintenance. It's a 1914 Craftsman that has been in our family for five generations, counting my grandson.
In 2024 I was blessed to marry a wonderful, beautiful, loving, helpful woman, an angel of mercy, a career nurse who understands my condition thoroughly, has no guarantees, and loves me anyway.
I don't deserve her. But that's how grace works, I suppose.
In July of 2020 I was struck by stage 4 colon cancer, so I underwent a year and a half ordeal of surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy.
By November of 2021, the wound had closed completely and they pronounced me cured. I prayed a lot, and so did a lot of other people, including my medical team.
A miracle? You decide.
How did I survive and pay my bills during that time? I had a few loyal, supportive clients who let me continue working for them while I was laid up. I'll always be grateful to them.
As I was recovering from the cancer ordeal, gradually regaining my energy and adjusting to the fact that I had not died and that I did indeed have a future, my dad declined and passed away in November of 2023. I was his caregiver.
After his passing, I took possession and assumed command of the family home, a significant adjustment that involved both moving and catching up on a lot of deferred maintenance. It's a 1914 Craftsman that has been in our family for five generations, counting my grandson.
In 2024 I was blessed to marry a wonderful, beautiful, loving, helpful woman, an angel of mercy, a career nurse who understands my condition thoroughly, has no guarantees, and loves me anyway.
I don't deserve her. But that's how grace works, I suppose.
III. Rust
After all of this isolation, I found that my social skills and emotional intelligence (what little I had, and I've never had much . . . in the Marine Corps we joke, if the Marines wanted you to have feelings, they would have issued them to you) had gotten extremely rusty.
Gradually, over the course of 2025, it became apparent to me that I needed to do something to knock the rust off. I needed to step away from the computer screen and interact with people directly, face-to-face, to look in their eyes, hear their tone, see their body language, and empathize.
I had bought a ChatGPT account in that year, so I brainstormed with it about what I should do. We came to recognize how anything digital involves an element of doubt; but real face-to-face interaction has almost zero doubt.
I mean, I just (April 2026) completed Tony Robbins' Artificial Intelligence Summit, in which they're encouraging people to clone themselves in Claude. So now, in the digital space, when you're watching a video or viewing an image of someone, you can't be sure whether it's really them. Now we have clones and deepfakes.
So I asked ChatGPT, what are some face to face business networking groups near me? It gave me a list. And at the top of the list? The Connections Club, a group my own mother had helped launch in the late 1980s. They're still using the bylaws she wrote.
Good governance is the reason for their longevity. They follow her bylaws and meeting agenda structure religiously. I joined in January, and have enjoyed getting to know everyone.
But Connections isn't the only group. I ended up joining eleven (all listed here). I became a social butterfly with a jammed calendar. In all, the whole exercise amounted to an "Anthropological Field Study" to learn who's who, what's what, how people are doing, and what makes them tick.
IV. Findings
A. Priorities. After a while, one day I asked ChatGPT, "Based on what you know about society, culture, and trends, what would you say are American citizens' top ten priorities in 2026?" It listed these priorities and concluded, "America in 2026 is optimized for short-term survival and stimulation, while quietly starving for long-term structure and discipline."
B. Vision & Vacuousness. I noticed how my questions about long term goals, which used to get some traction in prior decades, be they about personal saving goals or business direction goals, fell absolutely flat. The silence was deafening.
And when I encountered people IRL, I saw why. Between COVID, AI, and competition from cheap offshore labor, (not to mention war and inflation), they face so much uncertainty that they don't feel able to think long term. As ChatGPT showed in its priority list, people are focused on short term survival. They're traumatized.
I consorted with the best of the best: members of multi-generational, award winning businesses. Even they had more to say about gratitude to their forebears, and standing on the shoulders of giants, than about their own vision for the future, other than sustaining inter-generational momentum. ("We've been around for X years, and we hope to be around for another X years.")
C. Now-Or-Never Land. Although we're surrounded by tech, we're also in a state of disruption and upheaval. For example, CRM (Customer Relationship Management): Salesforce, Hubspot, or spin up your own bespoke CRM using AI?
What about something as ordinary as keeping notes: use a wearable device in which AI serves as a dictation machine, which then summarizes the notes and converts them into action items for you digitally? Or scribble in a book or on a note pad? Or both?
How about those trusty post it notes? I know one AI expert who uses AI to read (a photo of) post it notes and summarize them.
What about calendaring? Google? Outlook? Analog? CRM? OMS? Or some other vertical tool used by your employer? Maybe all of the above, or a little bit of each, depending on the situation?
This is Thrash. This is the Frankenstack. And the result:
A fear that something might fall through the cracks, which puts people in the mindset of, "I had better do it now, because if I don't, I might forget, because I don't have one trustworthy system. I have a jumble of systems that I don't trust."
I call this "Now-Or-Never Land." It's that horrible place where you're scared that if you don't do something now, you never will because you'll lose track and forget. The pressure and the frustration are agonizing: we have all this amazing tech at our disposal, but we still live, and feel, as if we had none.
What we need is one trustworthy system. But we're so overwhelmed by choices and changes that we're paralyzed. So we regress into nothingness, into Now-Or-Never Land.
D. TL;DR Doom- and Rage-Scrolling. In case you didn't get the memo, TL;DR means, "Too long, didn't read." I combine this with Doom- and Rage-Scrolling to summarize the popular mentality and habits in which everyone is on their smart phones scanning for opportunities to be scared or offended; and since they spend so much time doing that, they feel like they don't have much time to read, write, think, or otherwise compose themselves.
Thus we find ourselves in a doom loop: "Since I'm spending so much time and mental bandwidth doom- and rage-scrolling on my phone, I don't have time to compose myself and devise a compelling vision of my future. TL;DR, bro."
E. Masterminds are Contaminated. Bereft of vision and "third spaces" (other than home and work, places like fraternal organizations, houses of worship, and so forth, where general participation has declined), some join (expensive) Mastermind groups.
I considered forming one myself, of people who DO have a written long term plan for themselves that they take seriously, who DO have clear vision. I brainstormed with ChatGPT about it and it said, "Good idea, but don't call it a 'Mastermind.' That term is contaminated."
Huh? Contaminated? I asked it to explain. It said,
|
"The term 'Mastermind' comes from Napoleon Hill's book Think and Grow Rich.
The term mastermind used to carry weight. Now it’s noisy. It used to be a small, tightly aligned group, with a definite purpose, operating with discipline and confidentiality, producing compounded thinking power. It was closer to a strategic council of operators, not a meetup or vibe session. Over the last ~15 years, especially with online business culture, the term got mass-produced, decoupled from output, and blended with coaching theater with misaligned incentives that are more about retention than results. When someone hears “mastermind,” they often subconsciously map it to Networking-lite, Idea swapping, Paid community, Aspirational talk, and Mild accountability at best. In your words: '$5 coffee and hope something gels.' That’s the contamination." |
Learning this reminded me of Peter Thiel's book Zero to One, in which he discusses Definite versus Indefinite Optimism.
Authentic Masterminds contain Definite Optimists - real Builders - who have clear written plans for their lives that they're actively working.
Contaminated Masterminds contain Indefinite Optimists who don't know what the hell they're doing, but presume that if they congregate, they'll figure it out somehow. Maybe.
And if not, it's all good because they enjoy each other's company . . . for a while . . . until they get on each other's nerves, and the group collapses . . . because of what?
Lack of focus.
No vision.
Codependency.
Vacuous unseriousness.
Knowing what I now know about the current state of Masterminds, if I were ever to form one, I'd follow Benjamin Franklin's example in his "Junto" or "Leather Apron Club." That model totally rocks, IMO.
F. Intransigence, or "Doubling Down." My Greek Orthodox Catechist (may his memory be eternal) used to say to me, "Kris, people's minds are like cement: well mixed, and firmly set. Their attitude is, 'Don't confuse me with the facts.'"
In a word, this is called Intransigence. I noticed it after reading Thiel's book as well as Jim Collins' book Good to Great.
Thiel taught us about Definite Optimists, but we don't listen. The lesson does not stick. Now the marketplace is dominated by Indefinite Optimism.
Collins taught us about Level 5 Leaders, but we don't listen. The lesson does not stick. Level 5 Leaders are a shrinking minority.
Collins wrote it in 2001. We've had 25 years, a quarter of a century, to get a clue . . . and we've gone in the opposite direction. We've gotten worse.
Now we have interest and identity groups who simply shout at each other and repeat mantras and slogans; they're not really listening or thinking.
Now we're dealing with Iran, who has been intransigent for 47 years and probably will be for the foreseeable future. Supposedly the goal is to make a "deal." Do you trust Iran to honor any "deal?" I don't.
So I've learned that Intransigence is a condition of modern life. There it is; it won't go away. The question is, how to position one's self optimally in relation to it?
G. Referrals / Loyalty / Gratitude. When I launched my practice more than thirty years ago, I naively assumed that if I did a good job, word would spread and I could rely on referrals; and for quite a while, I did. Here are some things I know now that I didn't know then:
- Discretion. My work is highly confidential, and sometimes people are embarrassed to have needed me. They're grateful for the help, but they don't go around telling their friends. It's kind of like running a STD clinic.
- Killing the Messenger. Since I create clarity, my work is a threat to anyone who prefers to live in the shadows; for example, inept managers for whom a prompt accurate financial statement is an unfavorable report card. This has made me susceptible to what Charlie Munger calls "The Persian Messenger Syndrome." And I find that the more I improve - sharper, clearer, faster - the more severe this syndrome becomes.
- Overwhelm. People are overwhelmed with their own needs and problems. They just don't have the bandwidth to pause and refer.
- Culture has changed. Just as people wear leisure wear to the grocery store when they used to get booted and suited, so also have loyalty and gratitude become obsolete.
V. Conclusion
All this M&G (Meeting & Greeting) has had an effect. I've met a lot of people and seen how they're doing and feeling. Of course I don't know everything or everyone, and never will; but I feel as if I've taken a sufficient pulse of the prevailing Zeitgeist to progress with my own goals.
As I explained to one colleague just today (April 28), I think of it like fishing with a net. Joining the groups, paying the dues, attending the gatherings, and giving them my attention has all been work that is comparable to creating and casting a net.
Once that's done, the work shifts from casting, to hauling. That's what I'm beginning to do now. Doing so requires a shift in focus and scheduling. So now, I'm looking over all the groups and asking myself which ones to keep, and which ones to drop, to free up the schedule for hauling (not to mention the resulting actual, remunerative work).
My conclusion from the final above observation about Referrals, Loyalty, and Gratitude is that assuming them is foolish. I resolve never to expect them, but to be pleasantly surprised on the rare occasion that they happen, to regard them as a bonus.
No indeed: to build a business model around referrals is foolish. What must be done instead is to build some kind of continuous lead generation engine, and that is what a lot of AI is about now: building a clone that does LeadGen for you while you're sleeping or doing other things.
Maybe that will work sometimes; although for myself, I must say that I am so annoyed by AI generated Youtube ads that rudely interrupt the content I actually want (like vital world news) that I have, on occasion, resorted to bursts of profanity, or what I nostalgically call "Marine Mouth."
Personally, I prefer to kick it real and relieve myself of the doubt that is inherent in digital content. The challenge is balance: doing enough F2F M&G (face to face meeting and greeting) to stock the pipeline with quality prospects.
Now I'm at a point where, in my CRM, I have a collection of lists of people I've met in my various groups. Now I look down the list asking myself, "Whom do I like so much that I would enjoy buying them lunch?" Then I give that person a call, and we book the lunch. It's as simple as that.
So if you get a call from me proposing lunch, you'll know where you stand.
As I explained to one colleague just today (April 28), I think of it like fishing with a net. Joining the groups, paying the dues, attending the gatherings, and giving them my attention has all been work that is comparable to creating and casting a net.
Once that's done, the work shifts from casting, to hauling. That's what I'm beginning to do now. Doing so requires a shift in focus and scheduling. So now, I'm looking over all the groups and asking myself which ones to keep, and which ones to drop, to free up the schedule for hauling (not to mention the resulting actual, remunerative work).
My conclusion from the final above observation about Referrals, Loyalty, and Gratitude is that assuming them is foolish. I resolve never to expect them, but to be pleasantly surprised on the rare occasion that they happen, to regard them as a bonus.
No indeed: to build a business model around referrals is foolish. What must be done instead is to build some kind of continuous lead generation engine, and that is what a lot of AI is about now: building a clone that does LeadGen for you while you're sleeping or doing other things.
Maybe that will work sometimes; although for myself, I must say that I am so annoyed by AI generated Youtube ads that rudely interrupt the content I actually want (like vital world news) that I have, on occasion, resorted to bursts of profanity, or what I nostalgically call "Marine Mouth."
Personally, I prefer to kick it real and relieve myself of the doubt that is inherent in digital content. The challenge is balance: doing enough F2F M&G (face to face meeting and greeting) to stock the pipeline with quality prospects.
Now I'm at a point where, in my CRM, I have a collection of lists of people I've met in my various groups. Now I look down the list asking myself, "Whom do I like so much that I would enjoy buying them lunch?" Then I give that person a call, and we book the lunch. It's as simple as that.
So if you get a call from me proposing lunch, you'll know where you stand.
Respectfully prepared,
Kristofer N. Freeberg, Economist
Making End$ Meet
[email protected]
(360) 224-4322
